Just Barely Enough

She liked to lay in the grass when it was damp. Not so damp that when you get up your underwear would show through your white dress, just damp enough. Just enough that you felt a little sweaty. A little sticky. A little out of sorts.

Melinda's round body rolled over and her eyes met the dirt. Tiny bugs mucking through the thick brush of the lawn, desperate to get back home before the weight of her hand lifting herself up crushed them.

She pushed off her palms and walked her feet up to a standing position, her dress got caught under her toes.

"Stink", she mumbled.

Now her dress was muddy.

She wiped her hands on the dew of the grass and tried to wipe of the stains.

"Oh well, guess I deserved it". She was always saying that. Ok, maybe not always, but she was thinking it.

"I do, after all", she thought, "I do deserve it".

As she walked towards the school building she heard the bell ring. Lunch was over and class would be starting in three and a half minutes. She wanted to run, but knew that her lumpy thighs would just eat at her skirt until it had wedged itself so high up in her legs she would be picking at it in front of everyone.

"Whatever, I dare her to be mad at me", she muttered.

But, in her head she knew that she didn't have the gall for that attitude. Didn't have the gumption it took to say something like that to a snotty teacher who marked you tardy for walking in 23 seconds late. Even worse, when she got there she would have to find a seat.

"Perfect, just perfect".

Melinda reached the doors to the south entry of the school. She trotted a little at the end, you know, to give the illusion that she had been running the whole way. As she pulled open the doors she knew.

She knew this moment reflected every other moment she would ever have.

She would always be late.

Always out of breath.

Always thinking something brave but never speaking it into existence.