Why hello there, old friend!

It's been too long.

I'm going to do better, and that's all I'm going to say about that.

I'm not working anymore. Jeff has a splendiferous job that allows me to stay home and pursue my passions, or at least keep the house a *little* cleaner.

I have a few things going on. I am shooting a wedding in a week and a half, then I have an event later in the month that I have to be tight lipped about until it happens.

I'm on the planning committee for Paradise Praise Fest 2010, which is a local Christian music festival that involves all the churches in our small town uniting to make beautiful music and set aside our differences!

I'm really excited about this, very very very excited!!!
I just got back from doing a photo shoot for the promotional pictures we're going to use.

What you do think!???




And then there's this one (a personal favorite):



Lastly, my 100% most loved shot of the day...



Isn't she gorgeous!? I love her hands...

So anyway, I got some great shots and she was a trooper. She walked all over the lava rock in 100 degree heat with no shoes on. Well, I let her put her shoes on for the last one, that would hurt too badly to jump with no shoes!

*proving I have some semblance of empathy*

What else?Phew, there's been a lot! Ok...here goes.

We visited grandma Jewy (Judy...but that's how the kids pronounce her name and it's fitting since, well, she's a heeb):



I'm now down 76 big lbs!!! -4 to go until goal weight!!!




And planted our garden!



That's all from our simple life, how's yours?

The TRAGEDY in Hati

Yes, TRAGEDY, because it's as simple as that.

Pat Robertson was (rightly so, IMO) widely criticized for his remarks on the impoverished nation. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/01/13/pat-robertson-haiti-curse_n_422099.html

As a Christian, I am mortified. This kind of person is why Christianity is looked down upon as a holier than thou / fake / hippocratic religion.

I want no part of that man. DO NOT associate me with him or his "followers". His fleet of televangelist viewers who tune in daily, nightly, weekly for his words of wisdom. People that send in money, send in checks to keep him on air and in his "Sunday best", 7 days a week.

I am disgusted, I venture a guess that God is disgusted as well.

I fully believe that this earthquake was an anomaly. God made the earth, He made it to be an alive, powerful living creature. Living things shift and morph, they conform-implode-explode. God did not look down from heaven thinking, "Time to teach these poor bastards a lesson". Instead, when the tragedy happened, He lit a flame in the heart of *every* Christian to go and help. To bring water and supplies and the good news of the LOVE of Jesus Christ.

Long ago, God sent a devastating flood. It buried the earth and everything that wasn't safe on the ark, was destroyed. God was angry, plain and simple. However, He SWORE to never get *that* angry again.

****"To me, this is like the days of Noah, when I swore that the waters of Noah would never cover the earth again. So I have sworn not to be angry with you, never to rebuke you again. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed," says the Lord, who has compassion on you."*** Isa 54:9,10

When God makes a covenant, He honors it. I believe with all my heart that He has not caused this disaster.

And you! You who say yes, you who would side with the charlatan (Rob P.)- you had better sleep with one eye open. I dare to say that you have not been perfect, and if it's as you believe, than God will be coming for His reckoning soon.

Yelling at God.

My surroundings do not reflect my state of mind.

When I'm at peace and things are going smoothly, many times that's when my house/car/family is slightly disheveled and messy!

Right now...my house is perfectly squared away.

I can't think without my heart racing. I can't close my eyes without seeing bills that need to be paid, people that need to be called, appointments that need to be made. The list goes on and on.

On the other hand. I feel closer to God than I have in a great while. Ever since we found out we were moving, I've had an overwhelming sense of peace about it. Jeff quit his job in TX, we found and secured renters after we gave our notice, we even packed everything...but we didn't have any money to move! We couldn't afford a moving van, nothing! I just kept hearing God's still small voice telling me that He had a plan, this would work out. I felt tremendous peace. Of course, we sold the truck the day before we were supposed to go pick up our moving van and moved 2 days later.

This whole journey to CA from TX has been a leap of faith. Every day I feel my panic creeping up on me and then when I stop letting my thoughts crowd my head and just cry out to Jesus...

I feel peace.

Yesterday I hit my breaking point. Taylor needs a check up and her shots before we can even register her for Kindergarten. We don't have insurance, and can't afford the doctor's visit. I was standing in my kitchen and I just started to cry.

"Jesus, WHY!?" I sobbed.

"Why do You make it so hard to trust You!?"

I heard Him tell me to get down on my knees. I did it. I felt a burden lift from my soul. Nothing miraculous happened when I knelt down, but I think He just wanted me to prostrate myself and stop trying to do everything for Him.

So. This is a new chapter in my life. I'm going to be the woman He wants me to be. I'm going to trust Him. When I don't feel like I can, I'll lay myself at His feet and tell Him so. I strongly believe in coming to God as you are, telling Him EXACTLY what you're thinking and feeling. He knows our thoughts, so why try to be polite when it's not how we feel!?

Go to Him. Tell Him how you feel.

Do it now.